Book Review: She's The Boss

Dear Tina,

I'm certain in some other life, we met and probably at some over-priced coffee shop in a cave with tattered iKea furniture. But since we're in this life and I've just finished Bossypants from a roof-top in Jerusalem (truth), I wanted to reach out and say, "Thank you. Thank you for making nerdy-white midwest American girls with glasses...cool."

The writing was terribly witty and entertaining, so much so, I often caught myself in a hearty laugh sitting in a crowded bus or at a cafe in the morning when the rest of the room wasn't awake -- staring in my direction with a lop-sided stink eye to let me know morning laughter was not welcome until coffee had been consumed. And I've caught the constructor workers on the roof below catching glimpse and looking at me funny, alone, reading a book. What could EVER be so funny?

Your awkwardness, approach to life and often raw attitude to the daily grind of growing up, working, motherhood and wifery gives hope to the younger not so 'yellow-haired' bee out there.

While there were many great quotes and one liners to add to a FB status, Twitter, or a sticky note on the mirror, one of my favorites and becoming oh so popular was, "Now every girl is expected to have: caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama and doll tits. The person closes to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes. Everyone else is struggling."

Not my photo, Not for sale
Found on Pinterest, ok?
In place of another photo I don't have

I'm reminded of that time when I was 14 and I was going back to public school after a year of being homeschooled (which is another story for another lifetime) and 3 weeks into the Freshman year, my mother sets up a meeting with the guidance counselor to help select my classes. Why I started the 9th grade nearly a month into the school year, I have never figured out, but nonetheless, the day turned out to be one of the most embarrassing moments (and I say one because for me High School proved to have many, then again, who's HS experience wasn't awkward?). The morning began just two days after my female 'flowering,' you know the part where mothers beam about their daughters becoming women and embarrass us all? The cramps were a crime and my mother was determined to make me prissy and pretty, so ensued the fighting and yelling and pulling on my hair as she fluffed in dreadful curls and a feathered bangs (something left over from the 80s she never got over). I was forced into her straight skirt with pastel flowers on a beige background with a white blouse. And when I say blouse, I mean the puffy sleeves, round-lacy collar and fake pearl buttons that made me look like I was 5 (and being short with a young face, I probably looked 3). To top it off, I wore big round mid-90s glasses and had a mouth full of metal topped with wax which never successfully kept the inside of my lips from being cut open and sore. I was the definition of geekdom and walking into my high school for the first time was the worst it could get especially in between classes when all the blond cheerleading monsters came out to point and laugh (they probably never even looked my way, but when you're 14, the world is out to get you).

Needless to say, my trauma is oh so laughable now, 16 years later as I look out onto the Mount of Olives trying to come up with story angle that will bring in greenbacks from a news network and perhaps a contract to keep doing this journalist thing I've been doing for nearly a decade.

And well, as you put it, (or was that Lorne Michels), "[The Show] goes on because it's 11:30." Great advice for across the board, I say.

Enough!

The point is - your book is 'a solid.' The unsolicited advice and grada-A descriptions of your SNL Days and the start of 30 Rock made it a read for the ages...or at least for all the women out there who know being Beyonce is impossible but feeling like they can, just once, during a photo shoot for a day because it's awesome. It takes a lot of hard work to be a rock-star, contrary to popular belief (and trust me, Nickelback's song is of NO help whatsoever). Frankly, you're a true rock-star in my book, if I had a book, which I don't.

Again, thank you for being just who you are - and recently doing an interview with Inside the Actor's Studio. Ms. Palin should keep a closer eye on you.

I definitely recommend all my ladies out there BUY the book because it's a worthwhile investment - for reading and eventually a great coffee cup coaster.

Perhaps one day, we'll have the opportunity to meet in person, share a cup of over-priced delicious latte in an underground rickety cafe in a strange neighborhood near the subway in New York.

Until then, from a rooftop in Old City, Jerusalem - Cheers.

Yours Truly,

PHOTO GALLERY: Sand Paper Surf, Hani Surfboards

(Jaffa, Tel Aviv) Watching Hani Ovadia was watching an artist refine his work. It was if he was dancing in the tunnel wave, poetically turning over the board, inspecting each change, picking up a different style of sand paper for just the right touch, the right refinement.

Full article can be read @ http://www.theinertia.com/surf/israeli-shaper-sculpts-to-inspire/

The Holiest City

Hello Reader,

We meet again. You didn’t have doubts did you?

To put it frankly, I’m a cranky traveler. Don’t get me wrong, I love the fast-paced transitions, the people watching in the airport and the chance to catch up on a little reading, writing and arithmetic or in my case: math equals movies. But I don’t sleep well, and I’m regularly trying to reattempt fetal position in airplane seats and food court chairs that provide no back or neck support.

So here we are again. In the air, crossing the US, Europe and into Istanbul a bump before reaching my final destination: Jerusalem.

The Holiest City on earth, they say. Three religions agree. And I wonder: how does such never-ending conflict continue on holy ground? I will soon find out, I’m certain.

Walking off the airplane, moving through the customs wasn’t too complicated except for all the questions I had to answer before being told to sit in the Ministry of Interior box only 2 minutes later to be handed a Visa.

But fast-forward; entering the city and meeting my hostess, we took a stroll through the market to get lunch. It was busy with beggars, buscars and visitors. The smell of bakeries and the sight of fresh produce and nuts flooded the streets. It was a colorful seen, marked with diversity and constant movement.

I am fascinated by the unique blend of community that exists.

Waking up, Day 1:  I can see the Mount of Olives from my window, in the horizon, just beyond churches, synagogues and rooftops in the Old City.  The sunrise peaked over the hills and overlapped with the moon through the mist of morning clouds.  It’s the subtle feeling I am actually here – again, across the oceans in search for the perfect story. The coming events will prove to create a sound and mood in the city which seems to be in constant change, in constant search for unique peace between enemies.

Meantime, there is a certain grace, which rests over the city’s horizon: a sense of fluidity and yes, the sacred…

To be continued, my friends.

Yours truly,

Photo Essay: The Ride-Share

Inspired by the documentary, Craigslist Joe; I found the Craiglist ride-share to be an interesting one, my first attempt, and well, better than hopping a Greyhound bus, which I had hoped would be a cheap-last resort. A Father–Daughter pair were taking the weekend off, going to see a cousin in San Diego, just where I needed to go. After a ‘get-to-know-you’ sesh at a Gilbert Starbucks in the Arizona Desert, we agreed to travel together to SoCal. Jetta V-W packed up, CDs ready and plenty of dolls piled in the back seat; it wasn’t going to be a boring ride. I figured, a couple of new friends, a little conversation and teasing the kid would be perfect for my ride to the Ocean.  And of course, when an 8-year old girl wants to blast Taylor Swift, you smile and nod, turn it up and sing all the catchy words right along with her. The 5-hour cruise, a couple of pit stops for pictures, McD’s Mango Smoothies and the occasional bathroom break made the ride worth its weight and gold. 

Shower Scene: Take 1

1 March 2013

Dear Reader:

There’s something about the take off, more so when you’re tired: The dramatic lift off, wheels leaving the ground, the runway below you and the clouds ahead of you. Headed thousands of feet up, at an angle, your ears pop and the tightness in your stomach matches the aircraft’s roaring engine.  Still there’s a sense of anxious wonder flashing through my mind about what’s next --if this is the risk that ‘IS.’

Sleeping on an airplane is next to impossible. My mind racing too fast, and frankly I’m running through the emergency scenarios, realizing I really won’t have time to put on my mask or the person next me, we’re all screwed if we crash. I figure I’ll enjoy the ride and not think about a second time.

After the pilot finds a comfort zone in the sky, I pull out my laptop to watch Anthony Hopkins play Alfred Hitchcock. Fucking Brilliant. Yep, I said it. The masterful film recounts Hitchcock’s making of Psycho, one of his greatest works, and the relationship with his equally brilliant wife, Alma Hitchcock. I am enthralled by creative genius. It wrestles an inspirational kick in the ass to critically evaluate the angle by which to tell the story of a woman in a shower killed in suggestive terror. Truth be told; we’re all a little obsessive over the accomplishment of our next great moment in the story.  How many dare to rip open the shower curtain to expose what’s really going on in the buff?

From my window seat on an airplane, headed to the Arizona desert, far from urban poses, I sit mischievously mauling over the appealing and appalling ways to master the turbulence it takes to make the Earth move.

There is authenticity in leaving behind which presently spits out like a 4-letter expletive. What was once a vision is accomplished and moved on. No, not written off, rather pushed to the back of the line until it can meet the highest of obligations or until needed in dire circumstances…for a greater purpose, used for an agenda.

Ahead is all there is. Falling forward is still forward. The only thing I can think to do next is light it up – do it because 'they' said I can’t and who will stop the process of limitless when it is birthed in sheer insanity? I won’t. You won’t. We live for breakdown of Psycho. Like Hitchcock, there is no antidote but success, which scratches all acceptable standards.

So while I ride through the rough terrain of the sky, moments before landing – I gaze out the window, strangely confident my feet will touch the ground.

Stay with me…we’ll meet again.

Yours Truly.

Special Report: Spoken Black

Spoken Black
How Black Youths Are Redefining Black History

               --by: Ashley Gallagher

Students from Universities around the country are speaking out: From Left to Right: Vinson Fraley - 18 - New York University,

Rae Lesperance - 18 - Agnes Scott College,

Center: Bronte Velez - 19 - Brandeis University, Adam Tolliver - 25 - Graduated from Florida State University,

Raven Gibson - 19 - University of Georgia, Natalie Cook - 20 - University of Wisconsin-Madison

Bottom Photo R, Bronte Velez Takes on Django: Unchained 

Photographer: Ashley Gallagher

(ATLANTA) Young black artists take on black history, their culture and the controversial Quentin Tarantino film, Django: Unchained.

Appreciating the heroic Jamie Foxx’s depiction of a black man who rescues the woman he loves, with help from his German partner a few years ahead of the Civil War, students like Bronte Valez, 19, of Brandeis University are saying, “Tarantino can't tell my history and he is not supposed to.”

In a recent Facebook blog post, Velez stated while she praised the creativity of the film, she’s aware of the criticism Tarantino received noting his “intentions were not to depict our people’s Holocaust.” Instead it was created for “comedy and shock value,” things Tarantino is known for.  She goes on to say she is disappointed black artists in today’s culture are not producing work which reflects a deeper and more honest discussion of slavery’s ramifications.

She calls the years of slavery on African Americans a “holocaust” because she says there was a great destruction of life – rape, murder, and torture and though over a slower period of time, unlike the mass ethnic cleansing during World War II of the Jewish population, she says it’s important to recognize the reality of history.

Her blog fired a discussion among a number of young black students who chimed in critiques of the depiction of Black America by their own community– namely screenwriters such as Tyler Perry. 

According to Adam Tolliver, 25, a graduate from Florida State University, Perry recycles “poorly thought story-lines” and creates “shallow characters.” For Tolliver, he finds it appalling Perry is thought of as a “De-facto voice for Black America.” He would like to see Perry produce less material and take on more challenging topics in the black community rather than acquire a “climbing net-worth” while creating less than average characters.

Velez stated in her blog, Tyler Perry perpetuates “stereotypes of the forlorn black woman and the ‘in the wrong’ black male.” She says she wants to see more roles where “black people are protagonists.” But she does think students can learn from Perry’s success and realizes they can’t “discredit his ambition.”

Tyler Perry could not be reached for comment.

But I sat down with the group of students to try and understand a little more.

Developing respective art goes beyond Perry’s work and should supersede the current status among black Americans, believes Velez.  Current stereotypes and “constructs” need to be broken down and made more relevant for the coming generations.

But Velez’s position isn’t without opposition. LaDonna Spivey of Pensacola, FL and Fitness Entrepreneur says young people may be missing something in their perception of the two generations ahead of them. She states one of the greatest contributions from both Gen X’ers and Baby Boomers “has been the breaking down of ‘glass ceilings.” She goes on to say these generations produced many of the Black “firsts” like becoming CEO’s and holding political offices.  Spivey said, “Even now, the most virulent racist can blather about black people on welfare, black people are victims...then he stuffs his gullet with a McRib from McDonald's which has a black CEO.”

While Tolliver states that someone like Tyler Perry is an “example of principle and passion and hard work,” he feels the older audience is missing the point. Young black students voice their frustration of what they say is a lack of education. As a result, they are not encouraged to improve on what has already been done. Raven Gibson, 19, from the University of Georgia says Black History is taught in a “passive” voice, “in a way that denies responsibility,” as though “it were not part of the human story.” Tolliver adds that students are given four key figures including Harriet Tubman, Frederick Douglass, Martin Luther King Jr, and Malcolm X, who specifically, is portrayed as the "bad guy" in Civil Rights history.

They believe men like Reverend Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, media representatives and former Civil Rights leaders are muddling the picture of black America as it is today. Tolliver said, “They’re inciting emotion, not disseminating messages.” He says these men are “purposely provocative” and it causes “deep racial conflict.”

Students agree they struggle with their Black identity and their elders don’t have the discussions they feel are vital. Ironically, they told me, Tupac Shakur was a revolutionary. For them, despite his lifestyle not being one of example, his music bred new conversation, controversy and shined a light on the problems and the reality of the black community. They say their generation looks to him much like others saw Malcolm X during the 1950s and 60s. They believe people were not “hearing what he was saying,”  putting him in a box. Tolliver adds, “people are complex beings” and notes later interviews of Tupac where the rapper admitted to regrettable decisions.

While discussing how hip hop and rap are relevant in their generation; students were asked their opinion about the use of the “N-Word,” among popular artists. Their response was mixed. Gibson said, “I use it a lot,” believing it’s a way for her generation to reinvent themselves. She stated she did not have a problem with others using it toward her as long as she felt there was no malice intended by its use. Tolliver noted he wasn’t sure how he felt, “It’s there,” he said, “I acknowledge its context” and doesn’t have a problem using the word among peers. But Natalie Cook, 20, University of Wisconsin-Madison, retorted - she is no longer comfortable with the ‘N-Word,’ after experiencing a double standard in college she found herself dissuaded from using it, saying, “It’s a word so powerful, it’s different wherever you go” and it can be “confused.” Velez chimed in to say, “how much can you take it back?” referring to others who are trying to redefine the word.

The question is, then, how do they want to change what they despise?

They all agreed, Spoken Word and Hip Hop can open up doors for change.

Spoken word, students say, is stemmed from hip hop and rap, it’s the “art of talking to people” and allows for inter-generational conversation. They are trying create what the black person is about. They believe, as a generation, slavery isn't what affects them, Velez says, “our minds are enslaved,” believing the black community is mentally stuck and they are not able to experience inner-freedom. She believes Spoken Word is an art form which can bring healing and help others reduce negative thinking. 

“It brings hope for a common humanity.” says Rae Lesperance, 18, a student at Agnes Scott College in Atlanta, Georgia.

Toliver said the reason rap is often “more popular” over Spoken Word is because “it is easier to commercialize,” but Cook states, “rap revolution is a method necessary to be saved” and Spoken word is another participant of the “rap culture.”

Cook says “Hip hop and Spoken word are paying for my tuition.” She was a recipient of  the First Wave Hip Hop and Urban Arts Learning Community through the University of Wisconsin-Madison. First Wave is a program which collaborates education with the arts and encourages students to go after their passion through participation in “hip-hop culture.”

Each of the students attend “poetry slams,” nights advertised for local communities to come out and recite Spoken Word, frequently at an open mic night at coffee shops or small venues. Black college students use the opportunity to speak out and educate their audience about the current state of the black community.

In a recent piece, entitled Blackbirds by Bronte Velez, she recites, “And see how our mindsets are still being lynched /The faint leftovers of rope and friction..." she continues, "That birds born in cages/Think flying is impossible...Just because someone opens the cage/Doesn’t mean the birds will suddenly/Know how to fly out.” 

Velez believes it is possible for the black community to live up to their full potential as a society, if they are willing to be honest about their history, if they’re willing to open discussion and improve the state of their culture, which she says, is trapped.  

Cook, who is attending school for poetic arts, wrote in one of her pieces, “Don't fall into the trap of a barrel /I know it masks itself to be dark like the night /But don't mistake a gun's black face for your skin,” noting the influence of violence and guns among black youth, her hope is to encourage her peers to pursue better lifestyle.

While the new generation of college-black youth steps up to voice their concerns about black culture in America, they also want to create a message of positive identity, an appreciation for black history and help contribute a sense of freedom - from what they consider is a mental breakdown - in the spirit of the black community. 

Moving Earth

Even in error, it took the Ocean to see clearly the calling of the Desert. Again, I embarked on a road trip, across the country with BBC Radio and NPR News acting as infrequent companions, thankfully they lasted in Texas. McD's, Starbucks (for free wifi, of course) and gas stations occupied the trip's process. I can name the top 5 artists on pop radio (Justin Beiber, Taylor Swift, Bruno Mars, Flo Rida and Nicki Manaj (who, in particular, I'm really tired of by the way, but that's another story)) and I still managed to make it through the tumbleweeds of New Mexico's flat scenery. State by state, I cruise controlled across I-10 west with no real destination than the Pacific and frankly what choice did I have? Once you hit the Ocean, you don't exactly want to drown. 

Then again maybe it takes being held underwater to realize how bad you really want what you're after...breath. That which we are, we are; One equal temper of heroic hearts, Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will, To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."**

It's true -it seems time and fate can make one appear ill advised, unimportant and the mission a dead-end. Rather, I would argue, perhaps, every method has its madness and maybe, the strongest will see the end-goal to fruition, even it means an unexpected format. Sometimes, that's just how it works. Sometimes, it's all worth the risk.

So there I was, running along the sand with the nothing but the waves in my ears, bare feet and the morning air keeping me from breaking a sweat: it made sense. Time to double back.  

And back I went - across the the tumbleweeds - and weekend radio talk shows, gunning it through Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Louisiana & Mississippi - made a pit stop in Birmingham and back where I needed to be...for today: Atlanta. The long drive exhausted me, but there were moments, when the sun peaked over the horizon, I thought, it might just be alright. 

To the nay-sayers and the gloaters, time hasn't been long enough to show you what you're missing out on. For the yay-sayers and cheerleaders, don't worry, keep pushing. It's all has been, is and will be worth it. That which we are...we are. We cannot change. I won't, so I'll fight to keep going and go again. 

Recently, while talking with a friend about mud racing, we watched the motivational promo for the Spartan Race. The video shows participants struggling through the ropes obstacles, paraplegics accomplishing the impossible and underneath is a track from a motivational speaker who tells the story of a man who sought out a guru in his pursuit of success. 

The guru told him, "When you get to the point where you want to be successful as bad as you want to breathe, then you'll be successful...," this after leading him to deep waters and holding his head under. 

Sometimes, that's just how it works, sometimes, that's just the way of it. The open road gave me an avenue, the open ocean was my guru - and at the end of the day: this first year isn't over and I'm still working. I hope you'll keep following.

**This is the poem 'M.' recites in the new James Bond film, "Skyfall" while answering an inquiry from the British government on the relevancy of secret agents.